Guilt

It’s difficult sometimes to know wether my prioritizing is reasonable or not. Am I spending to much time in one area? Have I taken on to much? Am I wasting to much time? Right now I’m trying to get some sort of overview of this semester, and find that the minute I feel like I have nailed something down: something else pops up with a deadline I can’t possibly meet now.

In all of that I feel like it’s difficult to justify sitting down and spending time I could have used on something else on writing. Even if I actually do sit down, it can be difficult to concentrate and write anything. Stress and guilt get in my way. Am I a bad person for saying no to meeting my friends to spend time writing? Should I be more diligent as a student? Probably yes? To an extent, at least.

All my life I’ve hated that image of the artist who only cares about their projects and don’t give a damn about anybody else. Yet now I’m starting to see the point of that. Of course, I don’t want to be a bad person, or be terrible to others. But prioritizing what you do is important to get anywhere. That was much easier for me this past summer, when there where few distractions. But now I have to find a whole new balance. I’m glad I had that experience this summer, though, because it made me realize that actually choosing your art over other things yields results.