The Glow

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in to-do lists and external obligations that I loose… it. The inner feeling that practically glows in my chest when I cultivate my inner world. I don’t know if this is something others can relate to, but I think it probably is. Perhaps you don’t exactly feel a glow, but I think most people have experienced that feeling of being completely in line with one self.

I get this feeling when I spend time in my own company, consume media that is in line with this feeling, or make the space around me nice. There are certain books that I have taken so completely in as part of my experience that, when I read them, they immediately light this glow inside of me. Although sometimes I experience this with completely new books as well, that just fall in line with this feeling. On the flip side, there are things that I feel suck that glow right out of me.

This glow is also linked with my creativity. And I feel that: whenever I loose this feeling, I can’t make anything right. What I write can be alright or even good, but it won’t have that spark… It won’t be a product of me in the same way as the things I write when I feel that glow.

I don’t know if this might be a little spaced, but I realize this again and again whenever I try to squeeze inn some writing in a hectic schedule. I have to find my glow again and again, re-centering myself and clearing out all the influences that dims it. I feel like I’m getting better at finding this feeling, but I still loose it regularly and have to find it again.

Keeping Momentum

When I sit down to write for the first time in a while, everything is slow. I can’t quite figure out what to write, ideas won’t fit together, and I have a hard time expressing what I want to and finding the right words. Its like trying to get out of an armchair after sitting in an awkward position, and you discover (possibly a moment to late) that your legs have fallen asleep. Its uncomfortable at first, and you feel like you’re walking on pins for a moment, but as soon as the blood flow is normal again everything works perfectly.

And that’s the same way with writing, you have to let your creativity flow and keep your momentum. I don’t think you necessarily have to write a ton everyday to keep your momentum, a few words on a story or some plotting might be enough. But you can’t let the flow stop.

For me, these blogposts might be enough writing for one day. At least my fingers got to write on a keyboard, and my thoughts could flow out in the form of words. This is still utilizing the same muscles that I use when I am writing creatively. It’s about keeping momentum, not about blazing ahead at high speed.

Sharing is Caring

So I like writing, and I’m not that afraid of sharing the things that I write. Not anymore at least. I used to be petrified of showing people what I write, well… other than my mom. These days I’m not that scared of showing people what I write.

I think my experiences in music has helped me a lot there. When I sing, I get immediate feedback from a teacher or conductor. In these cases, the feedback I get (good or bad) is genuine and impersonal. It is all about what I’m doing and how I can get better. The criticism comes from a mindset of growth, after all: there would be no point in telling me what I do wrong if there is nothing to be done about it.

This sort of process means that you have to separate your ego and what you are putting out, wether it’s music or writing. That isn’t an easy task, but I think it is the only way if one is to improve. You can’t take all the criticism you get into your heart and mull it over like some profound flaw. You just have to take it in, use it in your work and send the product right back out into the world.

Yes, I’m far less scared about showing my writing these days. Of course I get nervous and wonder what people will think, but my very being doesn’t depend on the response I get. I also generally share my writing with people I believe will take it seriously and give genuine and constructive feedback. And giving this sort of feedback is honestly a very nice thing to do for somebody.

Cloudy With a Chance of Brainstorm

I haven’t been the best at posting here lately. It’s not that I haven’t been able to creative lately, it’s the opposite. I’ve been exploring story-ideas, plots and characters. Where I live, mushrooms are popping up overnight right now because of the rain, and ideas have been popping into my head.

On one hand I welcome this: I think exploring new ideas and putting characters, settings and plots together is the most fun in the writing process. It’s so free, and there are no established rules yet. I can also just go after whatever I think is the most fun without focusing so much on the “serious” stuff. I just have to put something together that really makes me want to write and find out more.

On the other hand, it can get a little overwhelming and difficult to focus my mind. There is so much going on that I can’t quite focus on one thing. But really, the good outweigh the bad by a mile.